2010 ABOUT MES

I love video games i have an xbox a wii a computer and steam my favorites are Halo, CoD, World of Warcraft, and DoTa/hon. I play video games wayyy too much when i should be studying but i still get by

i love music of all kinds except for things like screamo that promote death self injury and hatred

Im brutally honest i gave up lieing a long time ago because it kept catching up with me i like to use my mistakes as learning experiences and im a perfectionist i was born and raised in berkeley california and moved to brookfield connecticut in the 8th grade culture shock almost killed me.. ive changed somewhat but i still retain much of the tolerance i learned in california

i follow back :D

talk to me il be happy to give you my AIM or facebook and i love meeting new people who also have tumblrs

old about me

my name is Jacob but most people call me Smallwood or Bigwood (yes i know it sucked for a year in highschool until i made friends :) my maturity level differs depending on who im with i want to organize my thoughts and understand my my mind  i overthink everything :( why can’t i stop? 

i recently had someone break my heart im going to try and start using this more but sometimes i just dont know how to put my thoughts and feelings into words

BODY

I don’t know if insecure is really the right word but my physical appearance is a very concerning issue to me most of the time. I like to look good and it makes me feel better about myself. The reason i think insecurities doesn’t correctly describe the way i feel about myself is because i don’t really feel bad about myself when I am not looking my best but i feel really good when i am. I think the feelings are rooted more in my ego i like the feeling of being something that girls want even if it may only be in my head >.< 

I really dont show off much in person but its enriching for me to have people tell me i look good as superficial as it sounds and it never really will go to my head love me or hate me for it i dont care but at least im not posting this stuff on facebook im not looking for attention i just want to feel good about myself

MIND

This is a sequel to my about me. I dont know where to start but i guess the best place is to try and understand what im doing before i do it XD. The simplest way to describe what happens inside my mind most of the time i guess would be to say i think too much. I cant stop thinking about myself, phsyical appearance is just the tip of the iceberg. Every moment i have alone for some reason my mind shifts to analyzing all my recent actions and how they will affect other people. There seems to be an infinite amount of things i can think about but it always has to be something. Sometimes it is the future and possible interactions and then what would come of those interactions sometimes its the past and what could be done differently or possibly how the past will effect the future. (random fact i rearranged the structure of this writing like 50 times while i wrote it idk why.) Like everybody i have many layers to my personality and thought processes and Im going to try and organize them through writing and Tumblr. The problem with this goal is that organizing your thoughts chronologically is an impossible task because of the ever-changing sea of emotions that sway them in different directions so this will be more of an accumulation of random thoughts and emotions. ***This is not yet completely organized and may branch off into smaller more focused pages and contemplations when i have more time to write them down***